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A quiet evening, years ago, while reading the newspaper as
my wife was preparing dinner, I overheard my 4-year old
daughter ask, “Mommy, can I help?”. “Sure, sweetie. Would
you please put the butter on the table for Mommy?”
Moments later, the shriek of “EL-RIE!!!!!!” (at her birth,
my son could not articulate Ellen Marie, out came “El-Rie”
–it stuck) brought my son and I into the kitchen in a flash.
My wife, holding her tummy, was bent in laughter. El-rie,
with butter-covered knife in hand, confused look on her
face, was standing beside where she had just ‘painted’ a
pretty picture for Mommy all over the table – in butter –
believing she had done exactly what asked. After all, hadn’t
Mommy asked, “Sweetie, would you please put the butter on
the table for Mommy?”
When communicating, be careful what you ask for, be it
personal or job-oriented. Certainly, communication with
children is one thing. Communication with others requires
awareness, an unassuming acceptance of their point of view,
a non-finger pointing attitude and a certain willingness to
be self-effacing.
Understanding the communication process is vital to
achieving, and living, your definition of success.
Ineffective communication can cause our loved ones, business
associates, and friends to become frustrated, possibly
offended, and conflict can occur – and, nothing is
accomplished.
When communicating with others, it may be tempting to point
the finger at others for not understanding your instructions
and/or your viewpoint. The problem with this mind-set is
that it will not achieve your result of having the other
person understand what you are attempting to convey. Taking
responsibility for effective communication with others frees
you to take the action steps to achieve the result(s) you
are seeking.
In face-to-face communication with someone, don't make the
mistake of assuming that you are making yourself
understandable. When you concentrate, you will pick up
on clues as to whether the other person understands you and
your point of view. Do they display a confused look? Are
they unusually silent? If you ask them if they have any
questions, do they answer with an unsure “No”? These are
all low key responses that the person may not be sure of
what you just said. Don’t hesitate to ask questions to
determine their understanding.
When communicating with others, he/she who has the most
‘give’ and willingness to listen, and understand, will
make their point clear.
Clearly, everyone will not hear, or understand you, in the
same way. Some people may understand you better when they
see the information communicated actually in action. Others
when they hear the information, others when THEY take action
on the communication or, still, others when they ‘feel’ the
communication.
Take the time to understand your communicative skills. Maybe
even ask someone close to you for an evaluation of your
communication skills. Effective communication is a learned
skill – and, you CAN learn it.
If you don’t communicate effectively, you may well end up
with butter on your table.
Barry Rice, speaker and consultant, is the author of Moving Forward Out Of The Fog, the self-paced, practical exercise-based course that guides you, step-by-step, to achieving, and living, YOUR definition of success. Subscribe to his challenging and inspiring newsletter at sunriseofopportunity@getresponse.com.
http://www.sunriseofopportunity.com
Email – mail to: barry@sunriseofopportunity.com
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